Novel Extract – Brexit Explained

This is an extract of Nolan Jazimreg’s novel, The (In)Convenient Truth About The World You Live In.

Meanwhile, in London – Part Two

So, there you have it, the spurious par excellence UN nonsense. Let’s adopt a poor orphan and turn them into the rightful property of some psychopathic parents who’ll do anything to become famous. The United Nations, or the United Nutcases to sane people, cannot grasp the human essence, which was asserted, sealed, and signed by the professor’s callous idea, worthy of a straitjacket. The world is what we make of it, and there’s absolutely no frigging way that another human, belonging to the same species that fucked it up, will turn it into a better place through a new constitution!

I hate bloody referendums because it treats a wit and a halfwit as equals. Democracy is great, but what good is it when registered voters with a low IQ are on the rise? In 2016, we had the notorious EU referendum because the new EU anti-tax avoidance measures terrified the British establishment, which envisioned that the best way forward for the United Kingdom was to restore its colonial might by becoming the world’s largest tax haven through the extraction of the world’s capital and obliteration of the public services of other nations. Of course, most of the EU Anti Tax Avoidance Directive measures were already included in British law, except for two measures, which hindered the British establishment’s efforts to turn the UK into a tax haven. The first one was the level playing field aimed at preventing businesses in one country from gaining a competitive tax advantage over those operating in other countries through secret lenient tax deals, something that HM Revenue & Customs had done before the EU Anti Tax Avoidance Directive was enacted. The second EU anti-tax avoidance measure that wasn’t part of the British law is the European Court of Justice, which would become the legal entity responsible for overseeing each EU member state’s implementation of the EU Anti Tax Avoidance Directive instead of a British court, which already had a poor record in enforcing British tax-dodgers to pay their due taxes to UK authorities. So, when prominent Brexiteers, such as Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees Mogg or Nigel Farage, proclaimed that the UK’s sovereignty is under threat and that the UK must take back control from the European Court of Justice, what they meant by it, is that the sovereign decision of the British establishment’s vision to turn the UK into a tax haven and uphold tax avoidance will be terminated if the UK fell under the jurisdiction of the European Court of Justice. In the past, the European Court of Justice ruled that Apple must reimburse the Irish state a record €13 billion to make up for what was considered the company’s unpaid taxes over several years and that Fiat Chrysler must pay back about $33 million in taxes that it saved by carving out a deal with Luxembourg, thus impeding the British establishment’s vision for the UK as a major global tax haven.

Incapable of salvaging the good old British tax-dodging practices and the UK’s future global role as a tax haven from the new EU directive, the British establishment demanded an EU referendum. Initially, British Prime Minister David Cameron, who did a fair impersonation of a British leader, rejected calls for a referendum on the UK’s continued EU membership. However, on 30 June 2012, after meeting the two men who actually led the UK, David Cameron changed his mind about the EU referendum. So we had the EU referendum, left the EU, and the British prime minister went down in history as the Right Honourable Twat, Dave Came’moron. As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough, three years later, most English voters elected a new prime minister whose initials were BJ, which obviously lured most of his male voters.

Instigated by the extreme tropical temperatures reigning over Britain, the UK staged another one of those remarkably disastrous referendums in December 2069. Yesterday, London scored 45 degrees Celsius, the highest temperature recorded in May. Due to the scorching heatwave, the public schools have been closed since April. Asphalt roads with softer graded bitumen were also closed to avert permanent ridging. As if Brits weren’t pale enough and needed additional sun deprivation, they were asked if they’d prefer to switch official working hours from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm to 09:00 pm to 05:00 am. Thanks to 63 percent of British voters who voted to alter their woken-up cycle, as of next month, we’ll be waking up at sunset and going to bed at sunrise. As of this September, British children will attend school under the moonlight, instead of the sunlight, from 10:00 pm to 04:00 am! My sister Jane is exceedingly distressed about her three children leading a vampire-like way of living. She wants her family of five to migrate to Siberia, one of the few places on the planet that still provides bearable temperature ranges during the blistering summer months. Based on the migration trend, experts estimate that by the end of the next century, half of the world’s population will relocate to the northern hemisphere. My uncle Stephen has already moved to Siberia and is trying to get my sister to join him in Mirny, Siberia’s booming metropolitan city. However, her husband, Paul, refuses to leave London and thanks to a referendum, my sister filed for a divorce on Monday. Despite countless disastrous referendum precedents, the UN Reform Task Force came up with this ridiculous idea of giving almost the entire earth a chance to vote in another let’s-fuck-it-all-up referendum.

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Author’s Note

The fact that Brexit is used to turn the UK into a tax haven was also confirmed by former Prime Minister Liz Truss in her resignation speech, whereby she said:
“We delivered on energy bills and on cutting national insurance, and we set out a vision for a low-tax, high-growth economy that would take advantage of the freedoms of Brexit.”

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Nolan Jazimreg’s compelling political satire, which reveals how hatred impedes our happiness, an alternative form of democracy and the existential proof of God’s existence, is out now.

Order your copy by clicking on the image below:

The (In)Convenient Truth About The World You Live In Nolan Jazimreg World War III New World Order Bipolar Proof of God's Existence Hell Brexit

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